Navigating Parenthood During the Festive Season: A Guide to Balanced and Connected Parenting

With the festive season fast approaching, it can begin to feel like big feelings and not-so-merry meltdowns are just around the corner. The end of the year often brings a unique mix of excitement, disruption, social demands, and exhaustion — for children and adults.

As routines shift, calendars fill, finances stretch, and school finishes, it’s easy to fall back into old narratives about children: that they’re “not listening,” “not cooperating,” or “playing up.” These ideas come from a paradigm that doesn’t recognise children as inherently relational, responsive, and wise.

When children aren’t cooperating, another way to understand what’s happening is to ask: what might be out of balance, unmet, or asking to be felt?

Pause and Reflect

When things feel challenging, begin by pausing — even briefly — and reconnecting with your breath. Before responding, gently reflect on a few questions:

• What stressors are present in the family or environment?
  (Unprocessed stress, overstimulation or under-stimulation, illness, transitions, or environments that don’t support unique differences.)

• Have your child’s basic needs been met?
  (Hunger, rest, physical comfort, emotional needs, and the need for connection.)

• Does your child need connection right now?
  (To be seen, heard, borrow your nervous system, or feel close.)

• Do they need more information?
  (Offered in a developmentally appropriate way.)

• Is it time to listen to feelings?
  (“I’m here. I’m listening.”)

• Is it time for a loving limit?
  (Saying “no” to a behaviour while saying “yes” to the feeling underneath.)

Establish Routine and Predictability

The loss of routine, travel, and multiple social events can feel unsettling for some children. Creating small pockets of predictability can support a sense of safety and orientation.

This might include:

• visual representations of plans

• explaining changes using simple, child-appropriate language

• maintaining familiar rituals while away

• building in quiet time with an attuned adult

Even small, consistent anchors can make a meaningful difference.

Prioritise One-on-One, Child-Led Play

Amid the holiday pace, carving out daily one-on-one, child-led play — even just 10–15 minutes — can be deeply regulating through connection.

Play allows children to process experiences, release feelings, and integrate new information. If this feels difficult to hold alone, consider asking another trusted adult for support or scheduling time that feels more resourced.

Mindful Nutrition

Festive seasons often come with changes in eating patterns. Being mindful of stimulants, highly processed foods, or rapid changes in diet may support some children’s mood, sleep, and energy levels.

Noticing individual sensitivities and responding with curiosity rather than restriction can be helpful. If families have questions about nutrition or supplementation, it’s always appropriate to seek guidance from a qualified health professional.

Hydration Matters

Dehydration can sometimes mirror feelings of anxiety or dysregulation. Adding hydration to your “basic needs” check-in can be a simple and supportive step when your child feels off.

Limit Unnecessary Events and Activities

It’s okay to say no. Not every invitation needs to be accepted.

Self-care isn’t only bubble baths or massages (though those can be lovely). Often it’s found in the small moments — pausing for a breath, noticing your body, choosing rest over obligation.

Reducing overload supports both children and adults to stay connected rather than depleted.

Sensory Support for Busy Environments

For unavoidable outings to noisy or crowded places, sensory supports such as child-appropriate ear protection can be helpful for some children. These supports aren’t about avoidance — they’re about helping nervous systems stay within tolerable limits.

Find an Empathy Buddy

Just as children regulate through connection with a safe adult, grown-ups also need spaces to be heard.

This might be a partner, friend, therapist, nature, a pet, or any presence that offers a sense of being met and understood. Sharing the emotional load helps us stay available to our children.