The Subconscious Mind for Kids
Imagine your brain is like an iceberg floating in the ocean. You can see the very top of the iceberg above the water — but most of it is hidden underneath.
The part of your brain you’re aware of — the part you use for thinking, talking, and making choices — is like the tip of the iceberg. This is called your conscious mind.
Under the surface is another part of your brain that works quietly in the background. This is often called the subconscious mind. Even though we don’t always notice it, it plays an important role in how our bodies and feelings work.
What Does the Subconscious Mind Do?
Your subconscious mind helps with lots of automatic things, like:
breathing
your heartbeat
remembering routines
learning habits
storing experiences and feelings
It’s a bit like a helper that keeps things running while you’re busy doing other things — you don’t have to tell your heart to beat or your lungs to breathe; your body just knows how.
How Experiences Shape the Subconscious
As we grow, our brains learn from what happens around us. Things we hear, see, or experience — especially when we’re little — can leave impressions. These impressions help us make sense of the world and keep us safe.
Sometimes, when children go through stressful, confusing, or overwhelming experiences, their brains might hold onto messages like “I need to be careful” or “This feels scary.” These messages aren’t bad or wrong — they’re ways the brain tries to protect us.
Thoughts, Feelings, and the Inner World
You might notice that certain thoughts or feelings pop up without you choosing them. That’s normal. Our brains are always trying to understand what’s happening and how to respond.
If a child has a lot of worry, stress, or big feelings around them, their subconscious mind might stay on “high alert” for a while. This can sometimes show up as feeling anxious, sad, or unsure — not because anything is wrong with them, but because their brain is doing its best to look after them.
Helping the Subconscious Feel Safe
The good news is that our brains can learn and grow over time. Feeling safe, supported, and understood helps the subconscious mind relax.
Things that can support this include:
kind and caring relationships
moments of calm connection
creative play and art
noticing things we’re grateful for
gentle mindfulness or body-based practices
These experiences help the brain learn new messages, like “I’m safe,” “I’m supported,” and “I can handle this.”
A Gentle Reminder
You are not your thoughts, and you are not doing anything wrong if big feelings show up. Your brain is always learning, protecting, and adapting.
Just like an iceberg slowly shifts in the ocean, your inner world can change too — especially when it’s met with patience, care, and understanding.
